Updated: May 6, 2020
What would you learn about yourself if all you had was time alone with your thoughts? That's been a bit of my unwanted experience lately, and without any real effort, I've been a worthy subject to the social experiment. Perhaps it's my irritating quality to don rose-colored glasses in the face of abject uncertainty, fear, and tremendous loss. Still, I've found a way to appreciate sheltering-in-place for more than a lazy way of helping frontline workers. More than doing my social part as a considerate citizen, I am inside and finding myself again. Okay okay, I know what you're probably thinking:
"What kind of new-age nonsense is this woman about to embark on and spit back at me? I don't have time for this! A child is crawling into the dryer, last week's dinner is still glued to the microwave and needs wiping, and about 8,000 'hope-this-note-finds-you-well-get-back-whenever-you-get-a-moment-to-my-urgent-request' emails awaiting attention."
But lend me your eyes for only a few minutes, and if nothing else, I hope to make you laugh. Being inside and spending 52 days with my cat, dog, a fridge that somehow stays full, and a load of laundry that's being shuffled from room to room pretending like it's heading closer to the washer, I've learned the following about myself:
I can talk to myself for hours and be content (maybe I should speak to someone about that?)
I like singing and can hit the Mariah E. I know, I shocked myself, too.
I miss my brother so, so much. So much. Like more than I ever knew, I still could. Probably will, forever. Alas the burden of loving someone.
I can still put a lot of pressure on myself for perfection and completing projects - even if I've made them up for myself, like this updated website and now blog. Type A much?
Food is language, expression, and connection. I love cooking and view recipes as journeys through the culture and experience of the author. As I explore the recipe, I like to find ways to add my own experience and flavors to it as a way of feeling like I'm having a conversation with someone I'm getting to know quite well, even though we've never spoken.
I understand why my dog wants to go outside the moment I come home and then again eight more times after that until I finally head to bed, and she can't make me take her anywhere.
I also understand why my cat wants to go outside - I've since begun training him on a harness and leash. I expect to take him out on Thursday - of course, I'll be wearing a mask.
People's patience is thin, and mine is quite malleable. Yes, I get frustrated, miss my friends, seeing other walls, but I'm more about - well, what can I do now, where I am, to still amuse myself? For a day without laughter is a day I'm not familiar with at all.
You can't make me brush my hair.
Conversations, even on digital mediums, can exhaust me, and I still crave my solitude, even though I am in...solitude.
Even with free time and nail polish nearby, I still don't care about painting my nails. It was indeed something I did for the world, not for me, so maybe I'll keep it that way afterward, when we're all free again to share our hands.
My dog wants to eat 24/7 whereas I only want to talk to my parents 24/7. What? They're older, and I worry.
It was never the office. I'm still cold.
It makes me happy to share food, conversation, or even a wave with a friend, stranger, or person in need and a buddy walkin' down the street.
I like coming up with games, classes, books to read, and events to connect with my friends. Some of these include - create a playlist of your Top 25 Albums, Guess if an Ex said it, or I made it up (#ExorLie), and even taking classes together. Have you checked out The Science of Well Being yet? (side note: a post diving into the music game is coming soon, waiting on a couple more playlists to come in!)
I have a lot of grief to wade through, but I love being a supportive member of the grief community and am grateful for the pals who join me on Friday nights through The Dinner Party.
I need to have a creative task each day.
My heart aches for the medical community, and I channel my anger, frustration, and experience from tears to being an advocate, donating, reading every article under the sun, starting with a friend the @WhyWeHealthcare platform, supporting Dr. Pam Wible and staying the F home.
I still love journalism and feel a sense of yearning for my days reporting and being a part of documenting history like my former print colleagues. As though I'm abandoning a post in a time of need. I'm sure other former journos feel that way - it's a calling, that for many, is always in the heart.
I still can't watch a show without doing nine other things and needing someone to explain to me what's going on. Speaking of, does anyone watch Good Girls?
I wear perfume for myself as I've still sprayed Seven Veils, Chloe, or dabbed my Amber Oil almost every day.
I need humor - even if I'm just making myself laugh.
I like ending things at number 25.
What have you learned? Tell me! Anything you connect with on here? I'd love to hear from you...no, really. Please email me. I can't keep talking to myself.
Your girl on the inside,
Sabina Bhasin (is not on the scene...anymore).
#chicago #sabinawrites #SabinaBhasin #SabinaRBhasin #ChicagoWriter #Quarantine #ShelterInPlace #WhyWeHealthcare #journalism #marketing #contentmarketing #Contentmarketer #digitalstrategy #contentstrategy #uxwriting #uxwriter