What 52 Days in Quarantine Has Taught Me About Myself

Updated: May 6, 2020

What would you learn about yourself if all you had was time alone with your thoughts? That's been a bit of my unwanted experience lately, and without any real effort, I've been a worthy subject to the social experiment. Perhaps it's my irritating quality to don rose-colored glasses in the face of abject uncertainty, fear, and tremendous loss. Still, I've found a way to appreciate sheltering-in-place for more than a lazy way of helping frontline workers. More than doing my social part as a considerate citizen, I am inside and finding myself again. Okay okay, I know what you're probably thinking:

"What kind of new-age nonsense is this woman about to embark on and spit back at me? I don't have time for this! A child is crawling into the dryer, last week's dinner is still glued to the microwave and needs wiping, and about 8,000 'hope-this-note-finds-you-well-get-back-whenever-you-get-a-moment-to-my-urgent-request' emails awaiting attention."

But lend me your eyes for only a few minutes, and if nothing else, I hope to make you laugh. Being inside and spending 52 days with my cat, dog, a fridge that somehow stays full, and a load of laundry that's being shuffled from room to room pretending like it's heading closer to the washer, I've learned the following about myself:

  1. I'm messy.

  2. I can talk to myself for hours and be content (maybe I should speak to someone about that?)

  3. I like singing and can hit the Mariah E. I know, I shocked myself, too.

  4. I miss my brother so, so much. So much. Like more than I ever knew, I still could. Probably will, forever. Alas the burden of loving someone.

  5. I can still put a lot of pressure on myself for perfection and completing projects - even if I've made them up for myself, like this updated website and now blog. Type A much?

  6. Food is language, expression, and connection. I love cooking and view recipes as journeys through the culture and experience of the author. As I explore the recipe, I like to find ways to add my own experience and flavors to it as a way of feeling like I'm having a conversation with someone I'm getting to know quite well, even though we've never spoken.

  7. I understand why my dog wants to go outside the moment I come home and then again eight more times after that until I finally head to bed, and she can't make me take her anywhere.

  8. I also understand why my cat wants to go outside - I've since begun training him on a harness and leash. I expect to take him out on Thursday - of course, I'll be wearing a mask.

  9. People's patience is thin, and mine is quite malleable. Yes, I get frustrated, miss my friends, seeing other walls, but I'm more about - well, what can I do now, where I am, to still amuse myself? For a day without laughter is a day I'm not familiar with at all.

  10. You can't make me brush my hair.

  11. Conversations, even on digital mediums, can exhaust me, and I still crave my solitude, even though I am in...solitude.

  12. Even with free time and nail polish nearby, I still don't care about painting my nails. It was indeed something I did for the world, not for me, so maybe I'll keep it that way afterward, when we're all free again to share our hands.

  13. My dog wants to eat 24/7 whereas I only want to talk to my parents 24/7. What? They're older, and I worry.

  14. It was never the office. I'm still cold.

  15. It makes me happy to share food, conversation, or even a wave with a friend, stranger, or person in need and a buddy walkin' down the street.

  16. I miss volunteering and my pals at the IMD Guest House - #BrunchBunchForever!

  17. I like coming up with games, classes, books to read, and events to connect with my friends. Some of these include - create a playlist of your Top 25 Albums, Guess if an Ex said it, or I made it up (#ExorLie), and even taking classes together. Have you checked out The Science of Well Being yet? (side note: a post diving into the music game is coming soon, waiting on a couple more playlists to come in!)

  18. I have a lot of grief to wade through, but I love being a supportive member of the grief community and am grateful for the pals who join me on Friday nights through The Dinner Party.

  19. I need to have a creative task each day.

  20. My heart aches for the medical community, and I channel my anger, frustration, and experience from tears to being an advocate, donating, reading every article under the sun, starting with a friend the @WhyWeHealthcare platform, supporting Dr. Pam Wible and staying the F home.

  21. I still love journalism and feel a sense of yearning for my days reporting and being a part of documenting history like my former print colleagues. As though I'm abandoning a post in a time of need. I'm sure other former journos feel that way - it's a calling, that for many, is always in the heart.

  22. I still can't watch a show without doing nine other things and needing someone to explain to me what's going on. Speaking of, does anyone watch Good Girls?

  23. I wear perfume for myself as I've still sprayed Seven Veils, Chloe, or dabbed my Amber Oil almost every day.

  24. I need humor - even if I'm just making myself laugh.

  25. I like ending things at number 25.

What have you learned? Tell me! Anything you connect with on here? I'd love to hear from, really. Please email me. I can't keep talking to myself.

Your girl on the inside,

Sabina Bhasin (is not on the scene...anymore).

#chicago #sabinawrites #SabinaBhasin #SabinaRBhasin #ChicagoWriter #Quarantine #ShelterInPlace #WhyWeHealthcare #journalism #marketing #contentmarketing #Contentmarketer #digitalstrategy #contentstrategy #uxwriting #uxwriter

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